Idols Melting in the Summer Sun

Pale and hungover and hiding behind enormous black sunglasses, they looked small in the full light of day. Indeed, stranded in the wilds of New Jersey, they were looking around themselves as if they had never before seen the full light of day.

The few mentions their Lollapalooza sets received in the music press that year would inevitably make some reference to “vampires caught out after dawn.” But the truth was, they didn’t look like anything so glamorous. They looked lost and forlorn.

The Reid brothers had always snubbed the conventions of rock star bombast. Early Jesus and Mary Chain shows in 1985 and 1986 had lasted twenty minutes or less, the Reids playing the entire time with their backs to the audience. Their first singles had been delayed by the Reids’ insistence that they be pressed with a ramshackle “Jesus Fuck” tune on their B-sides. Their drummer’s kit for those early shows consisted of two tiny snares, the bass player’s instrument had only two strings. Their music had been approvingly described as the sound of someone in another apartment down the hall, playing the Velvet’s “Sister Ray” at maximum volume while also shearing sheets of aluminum with a table saw. And the people—which in the Chain’s case meant the London music press, then the London club scene, then Anglophile college-radio geeks in America—ate it up.

But this wasn’t 1986 anymore. It was 1992, midday in the mosquito-infested woods of northwest New Jersey. And this crowd wasn’t eating it up. They were snickering and wandering away. William and Jim Reid, flummoxed, watched them go.

I was no rock star, fallen or otherwise, that summer, but I knew how the Reids felt. I had just turned thirty a month before, and I can distinctly remember walking the grounds of Waterloo Village in Stanhope, thinking, My god, they’re making kids younger and younger every year. I had grown up in this area, a few miles away in Hopatcong, but I’d left within two months of turning eighteen, almost half a lifetime before, and I’d rarely returned.

I lived in Jersey City in 1992, and haunted the rock clubs of Manhattan. The Ritz, Mercury Lounge, Roseland Ballroom, CBGBs, Maxwells in Hoboken. You didn’t see kids in those places. Not this young, and not in such numbers. Now I was back, along with an old friend of mine who still lived in the area, watching hordes of high school kids dismiss a rock act I’d fanatically followed for years. My friend and I had come to see JAMC and a few of the bands on the side stage. We’d missed the first Lollapalooza, the year before, through sheer inattentiveness, and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. But these kids? Who were they here to see? Well, that was the root of the Reids’ problem.

The Reids weren’t in any position to win this crowd over. Under the unforgiving sun in a wide featureless field of dust and weeds, their songs sounded like what they were—Beach Boys pop sped up, knob-twiddled into the red, and shrouded in distortion. In a tiny, narrow club, their songs took on a forbidding menace and allure; outside they just drifted away on the dry breeze, tinny and obscure. Neither of the Reids was a Johnny Lydon, someone who could get by on sheer sneering bravado. The Reids had never condescended to speak to their fans in the past, much less argue with them. Unfortunately, just walking away wasn’t an option either. Storming off the stage would bring them face-to-face with Perry Farrell, the strict taskmaster and bullying accountant behind Lollapalooza.

So instead, the Reids set the bit in their mouths and shivered in their harness and hauled the little cart of their songs forward into the indifference of the crowd. The Reids were clearly drunk, hungover, or both. They famously hated each other and they hated the crowd. Why they’d even made this bid for the approval of mainstream America was a mystery. They clearly regretted it. For me, watching them, it was as if King Kong had been captured on Skull Island and dragged back to civilization, not to be exhibited in chains on a Broadway stage, but to provide rides for children at an Iowa fair.

In a better world, JAMC could have skulked out onto the stage in the second slot after cheery Britpoppers Lush, played a desultory set to a crowd just beginning to slip through the numerous pat-down checkpoints at the entrance, and slipped away, their dignity somewhat intact. But the Chain’s luck—like its cultural relevance—had suddenly expired.

When Perry Farrell announced the lineup for Lollapalooza ’92 in March of that year, Pearl Jam was an up-and-coming grunge act riding the wave of Nirvana’s success. An ideal support act. In May of ’92, however, Pearl Jam released its breakthrough album Ten. By August, “Alive” and “Even Flow” were ubiquitous on MTV, Ten stood at #2 on the Billboard charts, and Pearl Jam was arguably the biggest band in America. They could have easily headlined Lollapalooza. But Pearl Jam, humorless literalist blowhards that they already were, refused to surrender their originally assigned slot in the lineup, the #2 afternoon slot between Lush and the Jesus and Mary Chain.

Pearl Jam and its audience were everything the Reid brothers abhorred. Sweaty and earnest, hamhandedly obvious and eager to please, Eddie Vedder and band were born to exhort a crowd in an outdoor venue. And the crowd loved it. The crowd, far larger than it ever should have been at that ungodly afternoon hour, couldn’t get enough of it. Pearl Jam crammed 80 minutes of arena-rock histrionics into their 40-minute set and then raced off the stage. The crowd begged for more.

And they got two melancholy, nauseated goths from Glasgow. The band scheduled after JAMC? Soundgarden, another massive grunge act flying the trendy flag of flannel. The kids, those that hadn’t wandered off to the tattoo booths and beer tents, couldn’t hoot the Reids off the stage fast enough.

Already drunk by then, I set my cup of beer down in the dust as each Chain song stumbled and faltered to a close, and applauded loudly, earning dirty looks from those around me. I was your typical long-haired old guy, pugnaciously cheering on some dated, irrelevant garbage. Toward the end of the set, Jim Reid was singing inaudibly from a spot behind the drum kit and William Reid was only playing guitar on the middle parts of each song. The drummer and bassplayer, anonymous session players drafted for this tour, plinked and plonked grimly on, counting off their 45 minutes in purgatory.

“We had to play something like 40 dates over two months or something,” William Reid would later tell the British rock mag Melody Maker. “By the second gig, we realized we’d made a mistake, and we had another thirty-something gigs to play to thousands of Beavises and Buttheads. We got fucking drunk out of our heads every day, just trying to forget it. But you can’t. We just shouldn’t have been there.”

The Jesus and Mary Chain, the losers of the Battle of Waterloo Village, never enjoyed another moment of cultural relevance on either shore of the Atlantic. They released two more albums, both of which tanked, and they were cut by their label, Warner. They broke up, disappeared for ten years, came back with no new material, and still no one cared. As of today, they may or may not have broken up again. It’s hard to tell.

After that Lollapalooza show in 1992, my friend and I drove back to the Holiday Inn we were staying at and tried to pick up girls at the bar. I bought drinks for girls who had to show their dicey-looking IDs to the barmaid to be served. At about 11pm or so, three huge tour busses pulled up in front of the hotel. It was Ice Cube and his entourage. Ice Cube had gone on stage after Soundgarden and delighted the crowd, leading them in a venue-wide rap-along to Fuck Tha Police, an NWA song that had assumed widespread new popularity in the wake of the Los Angeles riots earlier that year. Every girl in the bar (and most of the guys too) got up en masse to meet Ice Cube and his posse in their suite of rooms. Even my friend left. The next morning, he would report that Ice Cube seemed like an easygoing, decent guy.

I wouldn’t know. I stayed at the bar, virtually alone, drinking mug after mug of beer, and lamented my vanquished idols, the Jesus and Mary Chain.

Editor’s Note: This story contains no live links because I couldn’t, for some reason, get basic HTML to function properly in WordPress today. So I’m putting the links here at the bottom, Roger Ebert style.

For a sense of JAMC at work, go here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2bzrCCKDwc

Who is John Lydon? Go here:

http://www.johnlydon.com/jlhome.html

Pearl Jam? Well, you know who they are:

Fuck Tha Police? Right here:

The ENIT Festival

enit_festivalI wasn’t at Woodstock. In August of 1969, I was more into Rocky & Bullwinkle than Neil Young. That, however hasn’t prevented me from being a bit of a geek on the subject of Woodstock, as only someone who never had to endure the traffic, the rain, the filth, the cold, the lack of food and water, the insect bites, and the many subpar performances could be.

As such, I’ve been looking forward to the release of “Woodstock: 40 Years On, Back to Yasgur’s Farm,” by Warner Rhino, a 6-CD set with a greatly expanded roster of bands and songs presented at the celebration of “3 Days of Peace and Music.” The set, “sequenced in chronological order of performance and featuring 38 previously unreleased recordings” should represent a significant improvement over Warner’s lackluster and weirdly joyless 4-CD set released in 1994, if only because it restores and expands the contributions of stage announcers Chip Monck and John Morris, as well as the Rain Chant and other crowd chatter. It will be interesting, after all these years, to hear Woodstock renditions of songs by Quill, Sweetwater, Bert Sommer, The Incredible String Band, and Ravi Shankar (among others).

The ’80s, the decade that encompassed my late teens to early twenties, wasn’t a prime decade for big music festivals. The trend had pretty much exhausted itself by then. The music changed, too, as anyone who has seen clips of the US Festival (Los Angeles, 1982 & 1983) can attest. There was nothing very inspiring about watching MTV-launched New Wave bands (Missing Persons, Quarterflash, Men At Work, a fledgling and awkward U2) flail tinily on a battleship-sized stage. The music wasn’t about community, after all. It was about fashion. Fashion and marketing.

By the time Lollapalooza appeared, I was perilously close to thirty years of age. This didn’t stop me from attending one show on each of the Lollapalooza tours from 1992 through 1997, along with any number of shows at grungy clubs like Maxwells in Hoboken or the Mercury Lounge, the Ritz, and CBGBs in NYC. The crowds skewed younger, but there was always a recognizable subset of people like me and my friends at the shows we saw—thirtyish guys who preferred Jawbox and Neutral Milk Hotel to David Bowie or, god help us, the Eagles. We probably weren’t aging gracefully, but we were self-possessed enough (or clueless enough) not to give too much of a crap.

Lollapalooza went on an extended hiatus after a particularly disastrous 1997 outing that combined electronic acts (The Orb, Prodigy, Orbital) with nu-metal acts (Tool, Korn), but its original founder’s attention had already wandered off to other endeavors by then. Perry Farrell’s ENIT tour was meant to rekindle the spirit of community that had withered away after the first two or three Lollapalooza tours. Toward that end, the ENIT Festival combined electronic dance acts with a few rock bands, and was scheduled as an all-night event.

I attended the ENIT Festival with a friend from my early ’90s concert-going days. We each brought our girlfriends (and, as it happens, future wives) along. This was in 1996, at the Garden State Art Center in Holmdel, NJ. We didn’t stick it out until the next morning. In fact, we didn’t last an hour at the ENIT Festival.

When we arrived, we found that the rock acts (most notably Black Grape and Love and Rockets) had already cancelled their appearances for that night. We found this out as we stood in line, trying to enter the venue while Arts Center staff thoroughly frisk-searched every ticket-holder passing through the turnstiles. Once we finally got inside (after being relieved of the bottled water we’d tried to bring with us), we found that the show wasn’t being held in the Arts Center’s amphitheater, but on a barren adjacent field. This meant we wouldn’t have access to the venue’s restrooms or concession stands. Worse yet, the Beer Garden featured in ENIT advertisements had been cancelled as well.

We wandered out onto the field and found a handful of tents, a water truck that had attracted a line of well over a hundred people, and a main stage. If I remember correctly, a New Orleans brass band was playing on the stage. The tents sheltered the usual Lollapalooza-style roster of face-painters, trinket-sellers, and pamphleteers. But there were no food vendors. How could there be no food vendors?

Because all the food was free! And all the food consisted of a kind of vegetable-and-oat paste that was being ladled out by volunteers into styrofoam bowls in a single food tent at the back of the field. Clearly, Perry Farrell had been greatly inspired by that moment in the Woodstock movie in which Wavy Gravy, leader of the Hog Farm gets on the PA system and announces “What we have in mind, is breakfast in bed for 400,000!” But we didn’t want free vegetable-and-oat paste. We wanted a hamburger and a beer.

We were not happy citizens in an ENIT Nation. And yet everyone around us seemed absurdly cheerful, given the shortage of eating and drinking options. In fact, they were so happy, they put those blissful hippie chicks of Woodstock film fame to shame. We looked around for a bit and then noticed a commotion at the locked gates to the amphitheater. A few people had climbed up onto the fence and were shaking it, and calling out to someone or something on the other side. They seemed upset, so we, recognizing our kind of people, went over to investigate.

The people on the fence were calling out to a man who was sitting in a lotus position on a picnic blanket arranged on the grass about fifty feet from the gate. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be meditating. A broad tray on the blanket held an unopened bottle of wine, two glasses, and some assorted fruit and cheese. A young woman was hovering about and I realized the man wasn’t meditating, he was being brushed and painted and touched up by the woman. There was a TV truck on the other side of the fence.

The people on the fence, a handful of kids, were taunting the man. “Rock star!” they called out. “Sell out!” A woman walked away from the truck, followed by a cameraman and another man with a portable lighting rig. The woman was holding a microphone bearing the logo of MTV. I looked again at the man.

“Open the gates, Perry!”

“Let us in!”

The man on the blanket was Perry Farrell, the event’s organizer. He was about to do some sort of interview. He was ignoring the kids on the other side of the fence, which only made them louder and more insistent. The MTV crew went about the business of setting up their shot.

“Hey, Perry! It sucks out here! Let us in, man!”

“Perry, man, you gonna drink that wine?”

“Fat cat rock star!”

This went on for a good five minutes or so, until I climbed up onto the lowest cross bar of the metal gate and shouted, “Hey, Perry, it’s like a Communist nation out here!”

The kids on my side of the fence looked at me curiously and then took up this new notion. “Yeah! It’s a Communist nation! Rock star!”

Farrell was being helped up off the blanket by the makeup girl and I saw that he was looking at me, his long face pale and composed under a layer of TV makeup. He was wearing a kind of short, blousy, intricately embroidered kimono.

“We’re like the proletarian rabble out here,” I yelled, trying to get a rise out of him. “You gonna throw us some bread or what? You gonna let us eat cake?”

Farrell looked at me on the fence, a new expression of perplexity coming to rest on his face. He waved off the makeup girl and approached the fence. “You’re here for the show?” he said.

“Yeah. We all are.” I indicated my little party of fellow guests, my future wife and our two friends, standing a good distance away at the bottom of the hill below the gate.

This seemed to surprise Farrell, as if he had had reason to suspect that I might be there for some other reason. He looked down the hill and then back at me. “Why is this a Communist nation?” he said.

“Because everything’s for free and nobody wants any of it.”

The kids around me had fallen silent at Farrell’s approach. Perhaps, having heard me speak, they were sensing they were on the wrong team. Farrell was gazing at me intently, seeming to consider what I had said.

“What is it you want?” he said.

“Rock bands,” I said. “Where’s Black Grape? Love and Rockets? Where’s the Beer Garden? Where’s the, you know, food?”

Farrell blinked in puzzlement. “No,” he said. “That’s all gone.” He lifted one long hand and waved all that stuff away. “The show is …” He seemed to lose the thread of his thought.

“Well, then, this event has been misrepresented in the ads.”

“Evolving,” Farrell said, completing the circuit of his suspended thought. He was looking at me in a different, peculiar, way. I couldn’t quite place the meaning of his look. “What is it you want?” he said again.

“I want a refund,” I said. “Four refunds.”

And this seemed to make Farrell profoundly happy. “Of course,” he said. “That would be best. Escort this man to the ticket office.” He was looking over my shoulder and I turned to find a member of the Arts Center security staff climbing the steps behind me. “Give him whatever he needs.”

“Thanks, Perry,” I said, but Perry was already walking away, back to his MTV interview.

Retreating, somewhat sheepishly, down the steps, I had a chance to look around at the venue. Though the gates had been open for an hour, there were still relatively few people in attendance. I realized that most of the people I saw were pretty young. And then, one by one, the pieces—the canceled rock bands, the dispatched beer garden, the confiscated water bottles, the euphoric kids—fell into place.

Oh, right, I thought. I get it. It’s not a rock show. Not anymore. It’s a rave. That’s what’s evolving. And that thought triggered, inevitably, my next thought.

I’m too old for this. I’m way, way, way too old.